Modern Day Milkman
by nononoNips
Summary: After Peter accidentally lies to MJ and Harry about working at Amazon, he must actually start, working at Amazon. But little does he know, Amazon workers, tend to be called "Modern Day Milkmen" for a reason... Wade X Peter, Rated M for Smut in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

"I doubt when Ramona Flowers was walking out of her job interview, with bright orange hair, and a crinkled band t-shirt, that she had expected her first delivery to be to a total nerd who would trigger a chain of events that would eventually cause them to murder 11 people, including himself at one point. Only for them to plummet five whole relationships, and one music producing studio into the ground." Peter said, offhandedly, trying to faze out the two males on the screen, who where tongue wrestling like some one spiked the punch.

"What?" Mary Jane looked up from the scene, her red hair in curlers and make-up half done. She hadn't heard a word, she had been to busy clutching her pillow and moving closer to the TV, when Peter had started talking.

"Never mind..." he peeked up, and tried to get reacquainted with the movie. That scene always took him off guard, he didn't know why.

She leaned back and took a hand full of popcorn, that had been popped to fully enjoy the at home cinema experience. The sound of a toilet flushing, and then the padding of Harry's feet against the wood floor, sounded, and he plopped down in the bend of the cushioned love seat, clad in only his pajamas.  
These weekly sleep overs had started to pick up after their second year in high school, and ever since Peter had rented a couple films from Blockbuster, and asked if his two best friends had wanted to come over, they had religiously come over every Sunday.  
After MJ came back from work, ad Harry had finally been released from afternoon Mass.

MJ stretched and paused the movie. She had long since joined Harry on the sibling like closeness, kind of emotional plane, and jumped up, she was wearing just her underwear, and socks. Topped in Harry's discarded Wolverine shirt.

"My turn!" she sped off down the hallway, any thoughts of watching her from behind, as she left was tossed out the window, when she chanted out "Gotta Pee! Gotta Pee!" over and over.

"Hey Pete."

Peter looked at Harry, who bugged his knees to his bare chest. Pale scars running up and down his chest, and some scattered on his rubs and back.

"I got a job interview next week, so I don't think I can come over."

"What?" Peter pouted, "Why did you scheduled it on that day?"

"I didn't!" he blurted, but sank back into his chair, "My dad did."

"You dad did what?" Mary Jane asked from the kitchen. Already back from the bathroom.

"He's making me go to a job interview next Sunday."

MJ frowned, and shrugged. "That sucks, so just you and me Peter? That's a shame, your so angsty when it comes to chick flicks." she leaned over the counter and snatching a brownie from a tray, that had been cooling. "You won't have Harry here to man you through it, and hold your hand during the sad parts."

Peter rolled his eyes. "Water for Elephants wasn't a chick flick."

"No but the Notebook was, my arm went numb you clung to me so long." Harry laughed.

"Well I'm not the one missing Star Wars marathon next week." Peter huffed, crossing his arm. Harry blanched.

"What? Your gonna watch Star Wars with out me!?"

"We are now." Peter snorted, throwing a smug look over his shoulder. He sat next to MJ on one of the stool by the counter's snack bar, and took a brownie.

"Well if you had a job you would understand just how important it is!" Harry grumbled.

"I do have a job!" Peter, couldn't catch the words before they left his mouth. He slapped a hand over his mouth, before he just blurted out his superhero whereabouts.

"Yeah Right, you do."MJ snorted, taking a bite into the almond filled treat.

"I do too!" Now it was a challenge, Peter did have a job!

"And what is this job, you so suddenly have?" Harry leaned in, as if to hear better.

Peter wracked his brain for any description of what he did, and how it could translate to a domestic job.

"I uh, have a route."

"Like a paper boy?" Mary-Jane asked.

"Well not really."

"Then what is it really?"

Peter's eyes ping ponged around the room, he saw some bubble wrap, and the new skate board he got after paid for helping out Mr Joey, he blinked at the giant packaging. And smirked, faking confidence "Why, I- work at...Amazon." he looked up at them, hoping their silence was quiet recognition and not disbelief.

"...cool." Mary Jane said.

"Yeah, didn't know you had it in ya Pete!" Harry slapped him on the back, draping an arm over his shoulders and squeezing.

"Yeah me either..." Peter laughed.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna half to order something, just to see you in uniform huh?" Peters heart stopped.

"what?"

"I do need a new copy of the Darkest Minds trilogy." Mary Jane nodded, to herself.

"And as it seems I need a brand new pair of sunglasses." Harry added in after her. "See you in two to twelve business days right?" he smirked

"Y-you bet!" Peter said. You know. Like a liar.


	2. Chapter 2

It was almost a week later, Peter felt awkward standing on a stranger's door step, clothed in the uniform that resembled the color of a brown paper bag. He rang the door bell, honestly if he knew he would actually had to get a job at Amazon he would have just told MJ and Harry that he was Spiderman. He would have laid himself out of the chopping block and said screw it.

The door swung open to a sweat pants clad man, with long blonde hair. Peter toed the heavy package he had huffed all the way up the driveway, and held out a sign form. "Mr. Thor, Odinsson?" he said in a flat voice.

"Ah, yes! This is the package I was expecting, is it not?" he scrawled on the line and lifted the box (that Peter could barely carry himself, even with his super strength) up like it was nothing.

"Thank you, for your patronage." Peter said, turning tail and waving himself in the hot sun. He heard the door shut behind him, and climbed back in the car, he was congratulating himself on leaving the AC on because even the short walks to customers' door steps where hot as balls. He pressed his face as close to the vents as he could with out blocking the air flow, his delivery partner sat in the driver's side, her feet kicked up on the steering wheel, reading the Daily Bugle. "Remind me again why you never get out and deliver the packages?"

She folded down the newspaper, checking her some what runny foundation in the rear view mirror. Her white bleached hair tied back in a messy bun, "Because," she revved the engine, hunching her back feigning fragility, the spitting image of a granny with a walker. "I have a bad back. Besides, you're a tough guy, a couple packages shouldn't be too hard for you." she peeled out from the sidewalk, and they took off, heading down town.

"Uh huh, I could be saying the same thing about you." he pouted, taking off his cap and using it to fan himself. She rolled her eyes, he regarded her cat themed overalls. "You should really wear your uniform."

"You should really wear your uniform," she mocked in an annoying voice, "yeah yeah Parker, and you shouldn't drink so much coffee but you don't see me complaining, now doughnut me!" she leaned over haphazardly swerving, with her mouth open, as he fished a glazed doughnut from the greasy bag and fed it to her. She snarled when she bit off a piece for show, and he rolled his eyes.

Despite how annoying Felicia could be, they had both become good friends in the two weeks he had been working for Amazon, they also shared a college class.

When she pulled up to the next stop, he was looking down at his phone, but he didn't need to be looking at her when he could practically hearthe smirk in her voice. "Alright, Petey enjoy your next delivery~"

"huh, wha- oh fuck." He frowned at the towering apartment building, Felicia made a show of pulling the emergency brake, because of the steep slope they where on. Shit eating Grin on her face, he looked miserably at her. "Let me guess, top floor?"

"mhmm, and the elevators broken." she sing songed and pulled the crank that opened the side door. She handed him a stack of boxes, all of which where As seen on TV products. Did some one seriously buy fourteen separate rip off products? What did this person wish to achieve with a GyroBowl and an Elsa Flipeez hat?  
"Room 135 B." she said, as he climbed out, and shut the door behind him. He could hear her laughing at him from inside the van, slurping on the remains of his blue icee.

The stairs weren't as bad as he thought they would be. Nope, forty flights of stairs he could handle, tripping and falling half way up forty flights of stairs? No prob. The janitor cleaning up said spill, asking him why he was taking the stairs when the apartment's elevator was perfectly operational? Yeah, that got him. He cursed that a certain silver haired douche bag, who was probably laughing it up, enjoying his icee. He would make her buy him pizza later for this, but meanwhile he was more than half way to the apartment anyway, and he could take the elevator at his leisure on his way back down.

He got the door wrong by one number, and had to apologize profusely, but when he finally got to the customer he was sweaty, out of breath, frustrated and more than a little crabby. When a mostly naked guy in only a mask and boxers answered the door, he was so done with this days shit.

"Ooh, is that my Kinetic sand? Is it purple? Because I wanted the purple one."

Peter's eye totally didn't twitch. "Um, I don't know, I just deliver the orders."

"I can see that, uh-" he stooped low, eyes squinting behind the red and black mask, to read his name tag, "-Peter. So you're the new guy? Felicia told me about you, but I didn't think you'd start so soon! Tell her I'm going to miss our girl talks, shame too she was just going to teach me how to french braid!" he whined, slumping against the door frame.

"Wait, what?" Peter didn't know whether to take this guy seriously, or to be very, very creeped out right now. "You know Felicia?" he knew it was a dumb question at this point, but hey anything to stay in the air conditioned hall a little longer.

"Yeah, of course, she'd deliver me my special surprise Japanese treat boxes, and we'd just hang out for a couple hours. Ya know, avoiding work and the outside and, " he cringed, crinkling his nose, "-Society. Any who, since your the new guy it seems I've lost my gal pal. Don't you need me to sign for these? Or stamp or whatever."

Peter face palmed, man this guy was distracting. Maybe it was the abs or the way he just kept going on and on about one subject, to the next. Peter almost forgot the signature, he fished in his one of his cargo pockets.

"Crap! Uh, yeah-thanks for reminding me." He handed over the pad, and then the packages.

"Sure thing, by the way we can do that too, the whole gal pal hangin' out thang~" he made a facial movement, but the mask obscured it, so Peter just kind of took it as him wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "We could braid each others' hair, eat some Chinese food, I've got a Batman snuggie. We can share it if you get cold."

"Uhm, as delightful as that sounds," which isn't as delightful as one may think. "I'm going to have to pass, if that's all then, I've got a route to get back to so-"

The man burst out laughing, Peter just stood there a while, dumbfounded. Was he being laughed at, by a guy in his underwear, shamelessly buying Frozen merch?  
"That's a good one!" the man's laughter filled the hallway and Peter started feeling some second hand embarrassment. The man clutched at his chest, mimicking Peter's words in a bad Batman voice. "'I've got a route to get back to.' You're a hoot Petey! You really are!"

Peter narrowed his eyes, in a "I'll go to your funeral to piss on your daisies" kind of look. Waiting for the stranger's giggles to die out. "Are you done laughing at me now?"

The man stopped suddenly, little hiccups tapering off. "Oh come on Skippy, wheres your sense of humor?"

"Whoops, I must have left it at home with my patience." Peter said in a flat, sour tone. He really didn't want to deal with this today.

"Aw, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry. I hope we do get along eventually, seeing as you'll be visiting every Tuesday and Saturday!" The man grinned under his mask, and it could almost pass as sincere. Almost. But Peter wasn't born yesterday. "I happen to be a regular customer, so sadly you're stuck with me! But that's okay, I'm Wade by the way."

"Hmph." Peter clicked his tongue, turning away and slipping his clipboard under his arm. In the background Wade was singing the song from those old Swiffer commercials as he walked down the hall. He took great pride in hearing the disappointed sounding: "Aw, I specially asked for the purple one!" as he clicked the 'down' button in the elevator.


End file.
